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12/27/2002 Entry: "Crimmus Hangover"

Do you get a Crimmus Hangover too? Man I sure did. I guess all of the hype and circumstance surrounding the holiday takes its toll on you. There is this slow down that's equivalent to slamming into a brick wall going full speed that just sort of takes 'it' out of you. 'IT' can be whatever 'IT' needs to be - just for the record.

Oh, you don't know what Crimmus is? Well isn't that something. I first heard that from a sales lady at Oshman's (for those of you who may not know - Oshman's is a sporting goods chain in TX) during my visit there the other week, she wished me a 'Merry Crimmus'..... YeeOK... what in the world is a 'Crimmus'? No - I didn't ask her but just nodded and said "You too" as I was trying to be polite.

I was about 1/2 way home when I realized that she had meant Christmas and not Crimmus. Well, now I am glad that I said "You too" back to her, less I be a Scrooge or something... perish the thought.

Maybe it's an "EBONICS" thing. "Hood Speak", so to speak.

The next quasi-logical thought that entered my brain was how we went from CHRISTMAS to CRIMMUS whilst skipping over the next likely progression (or digression) of terms... CHRISMAS.... CHRISMUS... etc. You don't follow me? Let me give you an easier and much shorter pro/digression of a word that we have ALL heard...

AX

I'll now use it in a sentence:
Lemme AX you summin'.

We went from ASK to AX in one fail swoop... mainly due to the limited number of letters and the close sound similarity of ASK and AX... but why did we not take CHRISTMAS to CRIMMUS in slower and more 'bite-sized' way? I feel sort of cheated that we have AXed CRIMMUS so quickly. I would have much enjoyed taking the appropriate letters out of CHRISTMAS in a slower and more defined manner rather than swinging the Ebonics Wrecking Ball through the English language and destroying words haphazardly. That's just not right.

So as I pulled into our driveway I decided to play the 'Homie's Advocate' and try a little Ebonics/Hood Tongue on the home front.

That exchange went a little something like this:

Me: Yo - I be hooome now.
Bride: You are what?
Me: I say I be hoooome now. Give P-Daddy Warbrokes a kiss
Bride: Uh, who is P-Daddy Warbrokes and why would I want to kiss him?
Me: Fer Crimmus!
Bride: For what....?
Me: Crimmus - what is ya, ignerunt?
Bride: Are you OK...?
Me: I be fine - Merry Crimmus baby!
Bride: Are you drunk or were you in an accident?
Me: Sheeet no - I juss wissshhin youin a Merry Crimmus dat's all....
Bride: You are weird.
Me: Yeah - I suppose so. I was trying to convey to you that I was home from my errands and romp in the environment, I would like a smallish smooch upon my return and that I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas.
Bride: So what was all of that?
Me: Oh, I,... uh.... was practicing my Ebonics and 'Hood Speak'.....
Bride: Well, OK dear - you can do whatever you want to do....
Me: Well, lemme ax you...
Bride: >>>walks away<<<
Me: >>>chasing after her<<< Sweeeetieeeeee.....

OK - so that trend is not alive and well in the PCT House of Non-Ebonics. C'est la vie.

I guess that we are in a brave new world and that things will be changing - but at what costs? I know that the phrase 'Dumbing Down' is a bit over used but I think that we need to hold ourselves to a higher standard, not get 'Dumbed Down', speak properly and take pride in the English language. Communication skills are imperative for survival in the world today and with the advent of all things hi-tech, the Internet, email, spelling and grammar checks, etc. there is NO reason that we can't communicate properly!

Anyway - that's about the story here for the day. Have a wonderful weekend wherever you may be.

Oh, and I hope that you and yours had a very Merry Crimm... err... Christmas.