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03/30/2003 Entry: "Mow Town"

Today's BLOG entry brought to you in part by Burt Bacharach's "Casino Royale"

Well I can say that by the smell of engine fumes and cut grass that spring is upon us. Actually, around Casa Stephen, mow season has been here for a few weeks but it's really getting to be that time of year now.

See, I sorta didn't mow last week thus my lawn has growneth over and nearly bogged down the Law-Boy lovingly referred to as "Mowzilla". So off I trotted to the yard for a mow, edge, trim and such. What fun! Actually I do like mowing the yard and NO I won't come over and mow yours.

A few neighbors have asked how our yard/lawn is SO green this early! Our secret? We dye it green!

OK, that was a lie.

This section is brought to you by Burt's "The Cowboy and Indian's Fight Scene" from "Casino Royale".

Truth is that I over seeded the lawn last year with winter rye (or something) but it didn't germinate until a few weeks ago! I think I had "slow" grass if ya know what I mean... So now it's REALLY green and grows like MAD!

Well, it will REALLY be Mow Town here when I start to do my creative mowing patterns.

The what you ask?

This sections has been brought to you courtesy of Perez Prado's "Cherry Pink and Apple Blossom White"

No - I just can't mow linearly, oh no. I have to do designs, etc. For example a few years ago Joan (the Bride person) went to Japan on business. As a surprise upon her return I had mowed a HUGE Japanese flag/rising sun in the yard. Another time I did a saw-tooth mow and still yet a wavy one.

Every now and then I will just mow diagonally and other times in a herringbone pattern.

Hey - you just gotta have fun y'know?

After mowing I gingerly rinse off Mowzilla (after she's properly cooled), scrape out the clogged grass from the underside and place her back into her spot in the garage. Trouble is that I typically end up with green fingers (like today) from scooping out the grass clippings... well a guy's gotta do what a guy's gotta do (that's my story anyway).

This section has been brought to you by Henry Mancini's "Theme from A Summer Place" which is great for practicing your 'Air Violin'!

OK - so when no one is looking I play the air violin - so SUE ME. I also do the air trumpet, air drums and jump rope while seated in my chair. Top that! Actually jumping rope while seated takes an enormous amount of skill and should not be attempted at home unless properly supervised and whilst "spotted" by your personal trainer and with the proper regulation inviso-rope.

I have to get this off of my chest - Floppy drives (that pesky A: you see in your Window's Explorer screen) will start to be an ACCESSORY and NOT standard equipment for PC's starting v-e-r-y soon. I say we all band together to "SAVE THE FLOPPY". Yeah, this will go nowhere... I just want to protest SOMETHING but nothing too edgy or that actually might land my arse in jail.

I'm kind of a weenie protestor I suppose... kinda like when I boycotted Luxembourg.

Why on earth did I boycott Luxembourg?

I'll tell you dammit! They are the ONLY nation that is ruled by a Grand Duchy and they arrogantly DENIED my application for the position. Jerks. After that debacle I no longer bought... well... they really don't produce anything but if they did I would boycott THAT. They just don't make anything to SPITE me... the evil of some...

Well, that's about it for the day - I need to go get this green grass goo off of my hands and continue my boycott of Luxembourg.

Solum potestis prohibere ignes silvarum.